Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down

Everyone has been asking about my doctor's appointment yesterday, so I thought I would blog about it.  Before I start...everything went fine.  I'm a little sore, but I'll live.

So, there were some positive things about my appointment and some negatives.  When your anxious about something, especially a medical procedure where pain is involved, you are either more aware of everyone you come in contact with that day or totally oblivious to everyone.  I was more aware, acutely.

The front office staff was courteous and friendly.  The medical assistant who called me back took my blood pressure and weight and talked about to me about my children.  She reviewed a few things about what would happen and said that a nurse would be in to prep me and would be assisting the doctor.  What she didn't mention was the ultrasound tech would be joining us too.

The nurse prepped me, was patient, answered every question and seemed genuinely sincere when she said she hoped the lumps turned out to be nothing but cysts.  The doctor and the ultrasound tech (UST) came in together.  The doctor talked to me a bit about the local anasthesia and we determined to use half of the usual dose so as not to taint my breast milk as I am still nursing Lydia at night.  He gave me the anasthetic and said he would be back shortly.  After he left, the UST said she would be locating the lumps and helping the doctor with the procedure.  All said a little roughly, like I was interrupting her day.

The doctor returned and we began.  Several times the doctor asked the UST to lighten up on my breast and not push so hard.  Everytime he asked her to do this she made this weird sighing noise, like she was annoyed that he was telling her what to do.  When the whole thing was over the doctor and nurse were cordial and again answered questions.  The UST was getting her equipment together.  As everyone was leaving I heard the UST say to the nurse, "I hate doing these things.  This lady has nothing wrong with her and I just wasted too much time in here."  The nurse glanced over her shoulder, could see that I heard the rude UST and sort of shrugged her shoulders and smiled.  It sort of implied to me that maybe this UST is always like this.

I think this UST had an important role in my procedure and her negativity and attitude were uncalled for and a bit irritating.  Oh, well.  It's over now.

I checked out, paid my bill and left.  In the elevator on the way down, I felt relieved it was over and grateful for my doctor's patience with me and his staff!

I should find out results next week.  My mother in law finds out her results in about 2 hours!  Please pray for her to be cancer free!  My friend, that I mentioned yesterday, is doing great.  Her MRI results came back and the hematoma is much smaller than they thought.  No surgery is needed, it will dissipate on its own.

Love,
Michelle

I don't wanna...

Thursday.  What a day today will be.  Today I am having three needle biopsies.  Today my mother-in-law is having a CT scan to determine whether her ovarian cancer is back, for the third time!  Today a sweet, young friend finds out a treatment plan for her subdural hematoma. 

Really?  Yes.  This is a lot of medical mayhem!  And I don't wanna deal!

So, my mother-in-law is down at MD Anderson right now, waiting to start drinking that radioactive stuff to illuminate any cancer cells in her body.  I know these tests are hard on her emotionally and physically.  She will visit the doctor tomorrow with my sister-in-law to learn the results. 

My sweet, young friend has had a rough year or so.  She started having health problems just after her honeymoon.  They have yet to diagnosis everything that is going on with her!  She has constant pain and all of this has been exacerbated by bumping her head at work and getting a concussion.  As if that wasn't bad enough, she now has a subdural hematoma.  The neurologist was unable to determine a course of action from the CT alone and performed an MRI yesterday.  She will find out the results today.  She really has remained pretty positive through everything, but she is just emotionally spent now.  Her husband has been loving and very supportive and I am so grateful for his love for her.  Her mother has been helping to take her to appointments and I am glad she lives in the same city as her daughter. 

So, what do you say to the people in your life that are struggling with something completely out of their control and many times out of the control of the medical community trying to help them?  We say things like, "I'll be praying for you."  "It will be ok."  "God has a plan for your life."   God works all things for good."  God won't give you anything you can't handle."

Those these statements may seem trite or even said automatically and off hand, they are true!  When things are completely out of our control, they are never out of God's control.  He's at the wheel and we need to let go of it so He can drive.  I think sometimes our fear of the future and the outcome of our circumstances grips us so tightly we can't hear the advice from our friends and more importantly we can't hear God's comforting voice or feel His warm embrace.

In the fall of 2009 the women's ministry at our church studied the Book of Esther with Beth Moore teaching.  What an amazing study.  If you haven't done it, I recommend it whole-heartedly.  The study was entitled, "It's Tough Being a Woman."  One lesson stated that "It's Tough Being a Woman in the Tight Fist of Fear."  Isn't that true?  Esther went before the king to plead for her people without being summoned.  In Persia, this meant death.  Esther chose to go anyway.  She said, "If I perish, I perish."  What are our worst fears?

Here are some of mine...
What if I lose one of my children?  Or both?
What if I die leaving my young children without a mother?
What is Brian dies leaving my young children without a father?

I could go on, but you can see I am more fearful about losing someone in my life than anything else.  But, should I cower in fear?  No!  Beth Moore reminded us that the most frequent command from God, the prophets and Jesus was, "Do not be afraid."  I'm thinking they know what they're talking about!

Another nugget of wisdom from Beth's study was this, "Living perpetually in the shadow of imminent catastrophe [we are] threatened not only physically but psychologically.  Walking in the shadow of death [is] as perilous as dying."

Ok, so easier said than done, right?  Do not be afraid.  Do not be afraid.  DO NOT BE AFRAID!  Ok, this will be my mantra today and I hope it will be my mother-in-law's and my friend's too!  We need to embrace the courage God gives us.  We don't know what tomorrow will bring.  We don't know what fears will come into reality.  But, we do know that God is with us every step of the way.  I wouldn't want to leave the house without him!

"The Lord will work out his plans for my life, for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me."  Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

Love,
Michelle

Civilization as we know it

Many news sources are saying that Port au Prince, the capital city of Haiti, has been utterly destroyed by the 7.0 earthquake.  The death toll is expected to top 100,000 lives.  This city and the country of Haiti have been changed forever.

We, in America, seem to only be concerned about what is happening in less fortunate countries when there is a catastrophe.  From the Haitian earthquake this week to the Indian Tsunami in 2004 (230,000 lives lost), tragedy strikes and democratic, wealthier nations, perk up.  What about other catastrophes?  The Rwandan genocide in 1994 claimed approximately 937,000 lives.  In addition, Rwanda has the 8th highest infant mortaility rate in the world.  On top of infant deaths, the deaths of hungry children all over the world is mounting and nearing 3M per year!

Again, we in America can hardly fathom these statistics.  Why am I sharing this on my blog?  Well, I have never been all that into raising money or awareness for projects overseas unless they are missionary driven.  However, I am praying and hoping I can find a passion for this.  I may not have huge amounts of money to donate, but I can pray and I can support those around me who are serving in so many capacities all over the world.

It seems most of my thoughts these days are driven by my children's future in this world.  I want them to have a concern for each and every person in the world.  For their well being, both physically and spiritually.  I'm not sure how to instill this in my children, without first doing it myself.

I have another challenge for you all today.  Think globally!  Pray for Haiti and its inhabitants.  Pray for those all over the world trying to help them.  Pray for countries who still persecute Christians.  Pray for missionaries sent out from your church.  Teach your children about another people/country.  Ok, so that may be too many challenges.  But, I'll try, if you will!

After you have thought and prayed globally, think locally.  Think about the hungry in your own city, the parents struggling to keep a roof over their heads, etc... Think and pray about what you can do in your own area to help someone who is suffering physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I am concerned that if those you can help don't, civilation as we know it, may be no more.

Building Blocks

This morning my girls were building with bristle blocks.  I don't know if any of you remember those, but they are pretty easy to put together, especially for little ones like Lydia.  Anyway...I watched as each girl figured out how to build whatever was in their pretty little heads.

Sophie was trying to build a house.  She was able to get the four walls up, with a window in one wall.  Very impressive.  But, she couldn't figure out how to put the roof on.  She tried and tried, but couldn't do it.  Finally, with frustration in her voice, she asked me for help.  Together we built a roof and put it on top of her house.

Lydia was just trying to put more than two pieces together.  And she seemed to be trying to match the blocks.  She would only use red pieces.  After she got three pieces put together, the fourth seemed to elude her.  Just like Sophie, she kept tring and trying to no avail.  I wondered if she would think to ask me or Sophie for help.  Or if she would just divert her attention elsewhere.  Well, she asked me! :)  With a grunt she looked at me and said, "Mama, hiya, ug."  I'm assuming this meant, "Mom, please help me too!"  (I know I'm reading into it a bit).  So, I helped Lydie add another block to her tower or whatever she was making.

As I was building with Sophie and Lydia I was thinking about how I try to do things myself until the point of frustration.  Then I turn to God.  So, at what point do you ask for help?  If I am praying without ceasing, as I am supposed to be, I have help from the get go.  Right?  But, I ask myself if my faith is strong enough, if I believe enough?  I know it's bigger than a mustard seed!

What are the building blocks of my faith?  I remember many sermons on faith from the time I was a small child.  But, basically this is what I remember:

1. Prayer - I need to communicate with God to further my relationship and faith in Him.
2. The Bible - I need to spend time in The Word, again communicating with God, allowing Him to speak to me through His inspired Words.
3. Praise (Worship) - I need to praise Him for who He is, what He has done for me, and the blessings all around me.
4. Works (Faith in Action) - In James 2:26 "...faith without works is dead."  I need to use my faith to increase it and make it stronger.

Ok, so if these are the building blocks, I need to use each one to build my faith.  Without each "block"  I cannot begin to be who Christ has made me to be in Him.   I don't know about you, but I found this pretty convicting.  Not only do I need to be doing this for me, but I need to be teaching my girls how to "build" their faith too! 

Are your building blocks in place?  Are you using the right ones or trying to put two pieces together that don't fit?  Challenge:  Take the time to build your faith today and put it into action tomorrow!

Love,
Michelle

2009 in review, take 2

After looking through all the pictures I posted for my 2009 in review, I left out some pretty good ones, so... I'm posting a few more. 

Sophie in Braids
October 2009

 Lydie
June 2009

Easter in Phoenix
Grandma Georgie (my mom)
Sophie & Lydie
April 2009

(Sophie looks so happy to be helping Gma w/ Lydie)

Easter in Phoenix
Grandpa Jerry (my dad)
Sophie
April 2009

(I love how happy they look!)







Ok, I'm done now.  For 2009 anyway!

Love,
Michelle

Fine Needle Aspiration

So...before Christmas I felt a lump in my breast.  Had a mammogram and ultrasound and my Dr. wasn't satisfied with the results.  Had the tests redone at The Women's Hospital this past Thursday, January 7th.

My Dr. called this afternoon and there are 3 lumps he is concerned about.  3!  I only felt one!  So...he would like to perform a fine needle aspiration on each lump in question.  It isn't too invasive and I don't need to be sedated, but I really don't feel like dealing with this!

In case you're wondering...fine needle aspiration, is just like it sounds.  A very fine, hollow needle removes tissue to be biopsied.  It rarely leaves bruising and pain is minimal during and after the procedure.  I may be sore though because there will be three separate sites.

This week will be an interesting one for our family.  I will hopefully have my procedure(s) and my mother-in-law, Ann, will be having her scan to see if her cancer is back.  She had ovarian cancer and has had one recurrence.  We are hopeful that it has not returned. 

I guess I need to be spending more time on my knees this week than I have been lately.  The only one in control of all these things is God, so the only one who can change them is God and the only one who can comfort us, is God!

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

May we all focus on delighting in the Lord today and the desires we will have will be for serving and glorifying Him.

Love,
Michelle

Potty Training Trouble

Sophie is almost 3 1/2 years old and has been potty trained for about a year.  She still wears a pull up at night, but not during naps.  However, during the past several weeks she has begun to have accidents.

When I say "accidents" I don't mean one here and there... I mean three to five per day!

Some days she won't have any, but on the days she does, it is VERY frustrating!  She's old enough now and with a big enough vocabulary that when I asked her why she keeps having accidents she gives me many excuses.

"I only had a teeny-tiny accident."  (Said while showing me how big the accident was with her fingers)

"It isn't pee-pee, it's sweat."

"I didn't know and then I just went pee-pee on myself."

"I didn't want Lydia to take my toy.  She always does that when I go away." (BTW-not true!)

"I don't like to go potty.  It's not for me"  (This is my favorite.  Going to the bathroom isn't for you?  Whose it for then?)

I'm sure there are others that aren't springing to mind right now.

When I ask her what I can do to help her remember to go potty.  She said...

"You have to tell me to go."  Ok, so I do and she balks at me!  But, inevitably when I make her sit down on the potty, she goes 90% of the time!

"Maybe you could give me a special prize.  Like candy or something else you know I would like."  I'm really not into giving her "special prizes" for going potty now, when I know she can do it.

So...here's my questions.  Any one else have some regressors?  If so, what tactics did you use to deal with the problem and what worked and didn't work?  Any ideas are most welcome!

Love,
Michelle

Playing in the Strangest Places

My little Lydie loves to play in strange places.  Maybe strange isn't the right word, but...well you'll see.

In the dog's crate.  I'm not sure why children love to play in Bear's crate.  He doesn't seem to mind.  Which is good because both of my girls have always loved ot play in it.

In the Tupperware cabinet.  This girls is soooo silly.

Sitting in the fridge holding yogurt.
She would sit there for hours if I let her.
She just loves it!















I am loving the differences between my girls.  Sophie is sooo independant and patient with her sister.  Lydia allows Sophie to read to her, pretend pretty much anything with her and is accepting of her role as the baby sister.  I hope their sweet relationship continues to blossom as beautifully as it has started.

Love,
Michelle

2009 in review

One of my New Year's resolutions for 2010 is to start and maintain a blog.  Well...it is already the 11th of January and I am just starting!

So, to begin....I thought I would review 2009.  Below is the year in pictures:

Sophie's 1st Trip to the Beach
January 2009



 

Sophie & Lydia
(Sophie loves holding her baby sister)
February 2009




 

Sophie Riding a Donkey for the First Time
at Tomball Bible Church's Western Days
February 2009

 Sophie's 1st Haircute

(I know, she didn't get a cut until she was 2 1/2!)

March 2009

Before

After

Lydia finds her foot
(Doesn't she look happy about it?)
March 2009

Easter in Phoenix
April 2009

Easter in Phoenix

Me and my girls, Sophie and Lydia
My sister, Suzy and her son Conor

April 2009

Sophie Riding her Tricycle
May 2009

Lydia is Dedicated to God at church
Mother's Day 2009

Sophie Reading to Lydia
June 2009

Beautiful Lydie
July 2009

Sophie in Mommy's Sink
(She's a little monkey, and can climb on anything)
July 2009

Brian, Gammie(Brian's mom), and Lydia
July 2009

Sophie Turns 3!
August 2009











Sophie Playing Dress up in Mommy's Shawl and Heels
September 2009

Brian & Lydia
Dressed to Cheer on UT
Hook 'Em Horns!
September 2009

Rod, Brian and Scott
(Brian hiked the Grand Canyon for the second year in a row)
October 2009


Great Artsy Shot of Brian and Scott at the Bottom of the Grand Canyon
October 2009













Michelle & Lydia
Lydia turns 1!
October 2009





Brian, Ann (Gammie), and Lydia
October 30, 2009

They all share the same birthday!

Brian Running his first 25k.
November 2009

Brian and his sister, Suzanne are running in their first marathon on January 17, 2010!

Sophie & Lydia
December 2009

Dickens on the Strand
Galveston, TX

December 2009









Brian & Sophie
Christmas Morning 2009






Lydie on Christmas Night
2009
















Ok, now that we're up to date, let's look forward and move on to 2010!

Best wishes for a Happy and Blessed New Year to all!

Love,
Michelle