I don't wanna...

Thursday.  What a day today will be.  Today I am having three needle biopsies.  Today my mother-in-law is having a CT scan to determine whether her ovarian cancer is back, for the third time!  Today a sweet, young friend finds out a treatment plan for her subdural hematoma. 

Really?  Yes.  This is a lot of medical mayhem!  And I don't wanna deal!

So, my mother-in-law is down at MD Anderson right now, waiting to start drinking that radioactive stuff to illuminate any cancer cells in her body.  I know these tests are hard on her emotionally and physically.  She will visit the doctor tomorrow with my sister-in-law to learn the results. 

My sweet, young friend has had a rough year or so.  She started having health problems just after her honeymoon.  They have yet to diagnosis everything that is going on with her!  She has constant pain and all of this has been exacerbated by bumping her head at work and getting a concussion.  As if that wasn't bad enough, she now has a subdural hematoma.  The neurologist was unable to determine a course of action from the CT alone and performed an MRI yesterday.  She will find out the results today.  She really has remained pretty positive through everything, but she is just emotionally spent now.  Her husband has been loving and very supportive and I am so grateful for his love for her.  Her mother has been helping to take her to appointments and I am glad she lives in the same city as her daughter. 

So, what do you say to the people in your life that are struggling with something completely out of their control and many times out of the control of the medical community trying to help them?  We say things like, "I'll be praying for you."  "It will be ok."  "God has a plan for your life."   God works all things for good."  God won't give you anything you can't handle."

Those these statements may seem trite or even said automatically and off hand, they are true!  When things are completely out of our control, they are never out of God's control.  He's at the wheel and we need to let go of it so He can drive.  I think sometimes our fear of the future and the outcome of our circumstances grips us so tightly we can't hear the advice from our friends and more importantly we can't hear God's comforting voice or feel His warm embrace.

In the fall of 2009 the women's ministry at our church studied the Book of Esther with Beth Moore teaching.  What an amazing study.  If you haven't done it, I recommend it whole-heartedly.  The study was entitled, "It's Tough Being a Woman."  One lesson stated that "It's Tough Being a Woman in the Tight Fist of Fear."  Isn't that true?  Esther went before the king to plead for her people without being summoned.  In Persia, this meant death.  Esther chose to go anyway.  She said, "If I perish, I perish."  What are our worst fears?

Here are some of mine...
What if I lose one of my children?  Or both?
What if I die leaving my young children without a mother?
What is Brian dies leaving my young children without a father?

I could go on, but you can see I am more fearful about losing someone in my life than anything else.  But, should I cower in fear?  No!  Beth Moore reminded us that the most frequent command from God, the prophets and Jesus was, "Do not be afraid."  I'm thinking they know what they're talking about!

Another nugget of wisdom from Beth's study was this, "Living perpetually in the shadow of imminent catastrophe [we are] threatened not only physically but psychologically.  Walking in the shadow of death [is] as perilous as dying."

Ok, so easier said than done, right?  Do not be afraid.  Do not be afraid.  DO NOT BE AFRAID!  Ok, this will be my mantra today and I hope it will be my mother-in-law's and my friend's too!  We need to embrace the courage God gives us.  We don't know what tomorrow will bring.  We don't know what fears will come into reality.  But, we do know that God is with us every step of the way.  I wouldn't want to leave the house without him!

"The Lord will work out his plans for my life, for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me."  Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

Love,
Michelle